


Hogwarts Squirrel Revival

by Honerva_and_Sariel



Series: Magical Menaces [8]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Situational Humiliation, Squirrels are rats with cuter clothing, The Author Regrets Nothing, This came out of nowhere, based on one of the funniest songs I’ve ever heard, no beta we die like liberty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-20
Updated: 2021-03-20
Packaged: 2021-03-29 02:41:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30149514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Honerva_and_Sariel/pseuds/Honerva_and_Sariel
Summary: In which Anakin and Ahsoka inadvertly cause a revival...
Relationships: Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano
Series: Magical Menaces [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2160651
Comments: 8
Kudos: 7





	Hogwarts Squirrel Revival

**Author's Note:**

> Year 3

“How do you feel about squirrels?” 

Anakin swung a lanky leg over the bench to stradle it. He snatched a handful of chips off her plate. She glared half-heartedly at him and slid the rest of her lunch over to him; she was done anyway. 

“They’re rats in cuter clothing,” she raised an eyebrow, “why?” 

He smiled, and Ahsoka noticed the shoebox he’d set down on the bench between them. 

Oh no...oh no he didn’t. 

But she’d been friends with him long enough to know that look in his eyes; his I’m-about-to-do-something-indescribably-stupid look. 

“Have you ever actually seen one up close?” 

“Anakin Skywalker, _what did you do_?” 

He gave her a cheshire grin and patted the top of the shoebox. She noticed that it had several holes punched into the lid. It didn’t _look_ like he’d stuffed a squirrel in it, but there was a Bad Feeling settling into her gut. 

“So you know how I was supposed to go to Professor Jinn’s this weekend? Well, I was goofing off one night and I must’ve scared him because he kind of froze up and...” 

He pulled the lid off as he rambled on, and sure enough, pressed up into the corner of the shoebox was a squirrel. He was small, _runty_ even with his tail bottle-brushed out. 

Ahsoka stared at him. He stared back at her, his cute little brown eyes wide and wild, his sides heaving as he frantically looked around...

He looked at her.

She looked at him. 

It was at that moment that Anakin and Ahsoka learned a valuable lesson: squirrels are cute, but they are first and foremost wild creature.

Wild creatures that sometimes become posessed by demons. 

The squirrel in the box must’ve decided that Ahsoka was just too scary, but if he was going to die, then he was going to go down fighting. 

He bolted. 

One minute he was huddled in the corner, the next he was over the side of the box and scrambling across the table. Anakin lunged for him, but he had already vanished. 

Anakin slowly turned to look at her. 

Ahsoka would never be able to recal what happened next, but nevertheless, this day was a day that would forever be a part of Hogwarts history...

Windu had his hand raised and was getting ready to address the student body when the squirrel ran up Lux Bonteri’s pant leg. 

Lux _shrieked_ and leapt to his feet. Windu froze. 

“SOMETHING’S GOT ME! ITS GOT ME!” 

He danced from foot to foot, shaking whichever leg was in the air at the time and frantically waving his arms. The students sitting near him scrambled backwards to get away from him. 

Ahsoka thought she could see the vein on Windu’s forehead from where she was sitting. 

Anakin let out a shuddering breath. 

Lux threw himself to his knees, whether to plead for mercy or to try and crush the weedeater loose in his tighy-whities was unknown, but the squirrel had evidently had enough of that and dashed out the opposite pant leg it had dashing in...

And ran, unobserved by students and faculty alike, to the Ravenclaw table. Barriss Offee was the next victim. 

The squirrel hurled itself up under her robe and skirt, and the entire student body bared witness to the ever prim, proper, and stoic girl _shoot_ to her feet and scream bloody murder with tears running down her face. 

Ahsoka put her hand to her mouth. 

Barriss shook out her robe, hopping from foot to foot. Tears streamed down her face as she began _cursing_ in a way that would make even the heartiest of sailors blush. 

“I’m sorry! Please, have mercy! I’m sorry I put pepper flakes in Auntie’s tea!” 

Oh boy...

”I’m sorry I told Aayla that Caleb and Hera were dating!” 

Oh no, _oh no..._

”I’m sorry I pretended to pray when Auntie insisted on it...”

Three students were trying to help her now. Ahsoka’s shoulders shook with silent laughter, tear pricking the corners of her eyes. She _knew_ she shouldn’t find this funny, but _damn_. Barriss had all but abandoned her when she started hanging out with Anakin, and some sick little part in the back of Ahsoka’s brain was cackling with unrestrained delight at seeing the look of sadistic glee _finally_ whiped off Barriss’ face.

”I’m sorry I kissed Gree..”

The squirrel was still doing laps in her dress. Anakin was staring, wide-eyed in _horror_ at the scene unfolding before him.

”I’m sorry I kissed Ferris and Ahso...”

Anakin’s head snapped around to her, lips already curling into a smile. Ahsoka held up a finger. 

“Not. A. Word.” 

The squirrel must’ve finally found its way out of her robes because Barriss sagged against her friend and Headmaster Yoda banged his cane against the High Table to wrest everyone’s attnetion away. Ahsoka watched Professor Unduli take Barriss by the shoulder and lead her out of the hall. 

She winced in sympathy. Everyone knew that Professor Unduli didn’t tolerate much...she certainly wouldn’t tolerate _this_ fiasco. 

Ahsoka almost felt bad for her former friend... _almost_.

* * *

Seven teachers and a prefect ended up seeing Madame Che for calming draugts following The Event. Rumors began to circulate, as they always do, that the students who “were posessed” were so because of the terrible deeds and secrets they’d harbored. 

It seemed that nobody wanted to be the next victim. Hogwarts received an influx of donations, both of the monetary kind and in various supplies. No less then 50 students volunteered to assist the Caretaker with the upkeep of the grounds, and nearly every student in year five through seven could be heard _loudly_ talking about how much they loved the school and their famlies and friends. 

_Everyone_ rededicated themselves to their studies, and grades and test scores had never been higher. 

Ahsoka grew up with stories of miracles; Oceans parting and people with nothing being cared for in abundance...but the greatest story she knew could not be found in the pages of her sacred texts. It existed only in hers and Anakin’s memories. 

They were the only ones who knew the truth: The students of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry had been placed back on the narrow path of success by a little, tiny, half-crazed English squirrel. 

**Author's Note:**

> And we’re back to our regularly scheduled Chaos
> 
> This idea came out of absolutey nowhere
> 
> Squirrels are cute...
> 
> They will also make direct eye-contact while trying to steal your bag of curly fries and follow you for ten minutes in the hopes you give them the last bite of your burger.


End file.
